How to deal with angry people

Like liquids have different boiling points, on the road, at sports events and other places we find short -tempered and angry people.  

Sometimes we spend our biggest time with such people. We may not intent to annoy them but for other factors best known by themselves these people get upset. There is a need to learn these special behaviours and also have the skills to deal with angry people.

Today dealing with angry people is increasingly challenging. Some of these people may be explosive and highly dangerous when they get upset while others are the usual type that is chronically angry at you. In both cases you must act wisely. The number one counter measure is to remain calm and not to respond in a hostile way. The rule is – hostility often begets more hostility.

When someone is angry take their upset seriously and validate their feelings. Ignoring them or minimizing their feelings will tend to escalate their anger further. Listen to what they have to say and hear then out. This gives them confidence that you are taking note of their pleas and you are likely to work out a solution.

If the person is intoxicated or drunk don’t argue with them. Even meaningful arguments will not make sense to a drunkard. Drinking always inpairs judgement and decreases inhibitions.

There is a need to wait for some one to recover from the influence of drugs or too much anger before meaningful discussions are made.

Respond to their feelings with statements that show concern.

Statements such as “I know how you feel” “I know what you are going through but try to relax” and so on will make the person cool down. There is a time when you have to allow angry people escape out of their situation. Take off the heat and don’t insist on solving the problems if they don’t want.

We all love to defend ourselves but this normally escalates anger in the person.

Don’t defend yourself by attacking the angry person. There is a time to present your side but when the person is still in the agitated state keep your explanations until the time is ripe.  It is also advisable not to solve emotional issues with logical arguments.

For certain people who are chronically angry toward you, try to limit your time spent with them especially if terminating the relationship is so drastic a step. You may also ask those people why they are always angry at you. A straight line is the shortest distance between any two points.

Sometimes the quickest way to know why some one is angry at you is by asking him/ her. Such an inquiry may open up a great opportunity for a dialogue. You may now suggest ways of solving the misunderstanding.

senkumbab@ymail.com

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