Isa Senkumba
Melting under the heavy weight of love
There is always that time when someone comes, holds your hand and says let’s go. And when you ask them where they are taking you, all they say is that, as far as the winds will take us. They actually don’t know where you are going but they have faith that at least you will finally go and end up somewhere. What matters here is the fact that you are together holding each other’s hand and moving. Isn’t love crazy? Yes, it is but very beautiful with its craziness. It is not about logic but a sincere feeling of being recognized, valued, cared for, and appreciated and ultimately a sense of belonging. This is why we reliably conclude that there is only one happiness in life; to love and to be loved.
We always ask ourselves: What greater thing is there for two human souls, than to feel that they are joined for life, to strengthen each other in all labour, to rest on each other in all sorrow, to minister to each other in all pain, to be one with each other in silent unspeakable memories at the moment of the last parting? We all take time to fantasize about this feeling from a distance but we still have an opportunity to get into this feeling physically and taste the experience. You can’t be a by stander and feel what the real participants feel.
There are many theories about marriage, some scaring and others adorable, but the real architects of these theories forget to tell us that such theories can only be proved when you get married. You can’t possibly learn to swim when standing outside the pool. Trust me every swimmer will tell you a different swimming experience. Just like we have always said, all weddings are similar because there is always a cake, speeches, a best man, flowers, food and drinks and a gown; but every marriage is different.
A marriage is like a groundnut pod; you have got to crack the pod first to be able to see the seeds inside. Obviously the seeds may be good or bad but either ways we have the capacity to change things with faith. They say, faith doesn’t deny facts but it changes facts.
Did you know that, once in a while, right in the middle of an ordinary life, love gives us a fairy tale? Which stories would the rest of us share in this world if there was no love? Just imagine the human race being a composition of robot- like objects moving around, working in factories and sleeping in stores waiting for another day to wake up and return to work. That would not be life. The fact that we have feelings, affection and care for each other brings life in us. And that is love. It is that constant reminder that we seriously need other people in our lives because we can’t live in solitary. Actually you don’t marry the person you can live with, you marry the person you can’t live without.
Former US First Lady Michelle Obama reminded us that marriage flourishes when the couple works together as a team: when both husband and wife decide that winning together is more important than keeping score. Good marriages don’t just happen. They are a product of hard work, good companionship, tolerance, forgiveness and many other things. Sometimes couples stumble, we all stumble; every one of us. That is why it’s a comfort to go hand in hand. Vast majority of young people get frustrated when they don’t find what they expected in marriage. Most of them have been tempted to think that they would find happiness. Maybe you may not love to hear this but you will never find happiness in marriage unless the two of you decide to take it there. Happiness is simply created by the two lovebirds. To find someone who will love you for no reason, and to shower that person with reasons, that is the ultimate happiness.
Life is a journey to the glittering star and a journey worth moving when someone is holding your hand. Even when you are both rowing the boat and one of you gets tired and sleeps, your significant other will continue rowing until you wake up to exchange roles. We all need that special person whose heart is your abode. When you close your eyes, you see the waters of the river rolling down into the sea and you hear the sound of flowing water in a sweet melody; when you open your eyes you should see your significant other. The only days you think about that person are the days that end with letter Y.
We all need that person who holds a central position in your heart, the one who watches you sleep and gives you a peck even when you are sound asleep because they prefer recognizing you to being recognized. That someone who defends you even when you are not around. We all need love because we are humans.