Holly sh**t! I have missed my periods

The similarity between a balloon and a pregnant woman’s belly is that the trouble causer is not always around to take his share of the pain. Another irony about pregnancy is that the one who puts in the baby is not the one who removes it out.

The guys in the maternity wards are simply reversing the earlier activity that some other guy performed. Basically there are two people who are authorized to touch a pregnant woman’s belly; the one who put in the baby and the other who takes it out after 9 months.
 
You all know what I’m talking about and no one is pretending here. It all starts with a kiss and one person ends up in a maternity ward being asked to push. Young people ought to be careful with kissing especially in the dark. I was told that children in the dark cause accidents and accidents in the dark also cause children. The best way to avoid unwanted babies is birth control. Unfortunately we think about it at the wrong time; after sex. Being on birth control means you can stop worrying about an unplanned pregnancy and focus entirely on worrying about achieving an orgasm.
 
When a woman misses her periods she gets to know that hell has broken loose and it is now on wheels. They only forget that men also feel the same way. Men only pretend to be strong in order to have their partners get strong as well. A tense man spoke frantically into the phone, my wife is eight months pregnant and she is crying in pain!”
“Is this first child?” the doctor asked.
“No!” the man shouted, “This is her husband!”

Missing a period is just the beginning of a lifelong sentence. This means no woman ever wants to admit that she is pregnant. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she’s pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment. Again giving birth is not the end of it all; it’s just the beginning.  Breastfeeding and raising a child is the continuation of the sentence. There are three reasons for breast-feeding: the milk is always at the right temperature; it comes in attractive containers; and the cat can’t get it.

A Husband made a call to the Hospital to know about his pregnant Wife. But accidentally the call went to a Cricket stadium. He asked, “What is the condition?” He fainted after hearing the reply, which said, “7 are already out…..3 more to get after Lunch…and…two were Ducks…”

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