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Awkward Ideas: If your mother is a virgin; say it

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Awkward Ideas: If your mother is a virgin; say it



I once told a priest that if God lived on earth he would have his house stoned and glasses broken by angry people. The priest asked me to withdraw the statement saying that I was directly provoking God. There is one thing I know, don’t say that she has never seen a man; that’s crap!

Some of us with independent minds will say anything without mincing words. I have asked myself and many believers why God is not confident enough to assure his people that He is around to protect them. Have you ever noticed that there is always a very big hospital next to a Church or Mosque? Think of Rubaga, Namirembe, Kibuli and many others. Isn’t the church or mosque enough to heal the people?

Why do people think that we should craft a message good enough to resonate with the expectations of the people? Why can’t we call a spade a spade and not a big spoon?   I met a friend of mine after a very long time. We had shared the same school and he realized an opportunity to assure me that he had got a good job. He told me that he is a landscape architect, a job that sounded prestigious. When I went on to ask him what exactly he does, the chap finally said that he drives a bulldozer.

Did you know that men no longer cheat? Actually they do cheat but they no longer call it cheating; it is now called doing research. Whether cheating or doing research it is still a bad thing. By calling the leopard a stubborn cat it does not mean that you can now share a bed with it. Begging is a habit that none of us should embrace. In fact no one wants to be called a beggar. In modern times the practice of begging has been beautified by giving it a good name; fundraising. Every time you see people fundraising, they are actually begging and they are beggars.

We used to have people moving with their merchandise from door to door convincing people to buy. They used to be called hawkers (Batembeeyi). Today they still exist only that they are now consoled with a new name, sales executive. What exactly is the difference? At the university students used to make fun of a short boy whose height drew everyone’s attention. The lecturer warned us against calling the boy short; he instead advised us to use more friendly words like -the boy is vertically challenged.

Every time I listen to and read people’s biographies most people are not comfortable telling the world that they come from poor families; instead they clothe the statement in the best Sunday suit and say- I come from a humble background.   I love people who speak straight. An adulterous woman should not have her identity beautified by calling her a generous woman, let her be known as a jezebel. If a government official steals public money, why call him corrupt; just call him a thief.

Put things in black and white.



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