Dancing dingidingi in style

It was during our growing up years when, as was the won’t in those days, I chanced on a novel by one upcoming but now not heard of novelist, titled “What does a woman want, in a man?”

An interesting piece of fiction that was really. Apart from enacting a series of sexual anecdotes, the novelist passes a key statement that even when a man does or offers to do all that which his lover of the time will have demanded of him even sometimes with the shedding of tears, the damn woman will take your offer and smile a thank you.

But sorry for you if you dare jump for the heavens thinking that you will have won the lady’s heart for, only after a short while,  she will turn on you demanding more and even taking as nothing what you will have given her.

Says the novelist: Your woman asks you for a house an you give it to her. She takes abode in it and shortly after she might tell you that that was not the kind of house she wanted after all. A woman makes signs at you clearly showing that she wants to get laid now, now.

You do her bidding but while at it and while she might shower praises onto you, she will whimper, shed real tears and at reaching her peak, she will scream (if you are not lucky, she might scream obscenities at you) and sob as if you are hurting her. Actually many a female will tell you their “onzita ssebo” thing while sincerely enjoying what you will be doing inside her hole of fame.

I said ahem. This because I happened to know about a few grand daughters of Eve who, after hankering for the gracings of a rich lover cum husband, they took custody in the residences seeming satisfied, but when you get lax in  making war inside their hole of understanding, they spread lugambo all around to the like of “Nze sajja wano kulya nyama na matooke……..”blah, blah.

It is these likes who you read about in the written print as well as see on Agataliiko Nfuufu after they were caught red-handed getting sexual healing from the shabby guy who digs your shamba; the young man who makes a daily delivery of milk at your home; the ganja-smoking guy with empale egudde who does a manicure or pedicure on her and even the teen age houseboy whom you acquired from  a very poor background down there in Kabulasoke e Gomba.

Funny species of creation females (not all) really are. I mean, if they are not funny why the hell do they cry out in pain during delivery of babies and after the fact swear they will never again do the things out of which pregnancies are made, yet only a year later, you find them pregnant again?

You ask a female out, run out of cash and you tell her you both have to foot the four or five miles home and she starts whimpering mbu because she has sprained her ankle courtesy of her putting on high heels as if her condition can take you home! I remember one who pulled down her knickers hissing mbu she wanted to pee right there and then when it was pitch dark and in very insecure surroundings.

And anyone of you who feel pissed off by this piece, better you know that nze, yours trully, Sejjusa wheda what or what.

Liz, girlfriend to a colleague, was last weekend at it. Dead drunk on a cocktail of drinks after attending a party with her lover of the day, they came home to the flat-let where they resided. But Liz started acting funny and abusive to her man who got pissed off right in the sitting room, dragged her silly self into the bedroom giving her the works. She responded by scratching his face and drawing blood. The man got wild with rage, tore up her expensive dress and because Liz has an awe-striking body when or when not naked, the man developed a raging hard on and raped her.

(Haven’t you heard of spouses or girl friends who invade your bed, become chicky by pretending to have a headache and when you do the needful to her pudenda, the following day she screams murder mbu you raped her and make a  charge against you with the police. Rape my foot!)

Now with our Liz, the damn girl first put up a struggle when her man jumped on top of her. She feigned resistance when he was pulling her legs apart but when he finally succeeded, hit base and started doing the needful, Julius, her man’s name is, found that the woman’s damn pussy was as wet as you know what.

He dug in and went berserk with the job at hand. Liz now forgot her game of resistance and started whimpering mbu: “Si ggwe onkubye…..”blah, blah. She even donated to her man a whole saza of Ssabasajja Kabaka’s mailo akenda.

Now, you can also ask with me: “What does a woman want, in a man, I mean?”

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