Isa Senkumba
Beehive : A married woman must avoid this
When we step into marriage there are certain things we are supposed to give up. It is the bitter truth. You either give them up or you keep them at the expense of your own marriage. Love is all about sacrifice. Both men and women have to sacrifice and give up certain things. However, today am more interested in looking at what women have to give up.
A wife should stop thinking that her way is the right way. If he does something differently, it does not mean that it’s wrong. When a wife insists on having her own way, she is in essence saying, “I have to be in control.” Learn to accommodate each other views and perceptions against your own.
You should not expect your husband to be your girlfriend. Most men and women not only look different physically, but also have unique ways of processing life. One example of this is the need for conversation. If you are observant enough you have realized that sometimes you are guilty of wearing out your husband with countless conversational details that he doesn’t really care about. For sure if he was a woman (one of your friends) , all of those details would definitely matter.
Women are warned against putting their husbands on the defensive. For example, if you are driving around a section of town looking for a restaurant and he is obviously lost, does it really help for you to tell him that he is been going around the same block for the fifth time? One wise wife said that she has learned to be quiet in situations like this. Now, before she makes a comment, she weighs her words-asking herself: Are my words needed? Would they be encouraging?
Just like women men want to be showed that they matter in your life and they are more important than anything else. Therefore stop putting housework ahead of your hubby. One young mom told her husband that she didn’t want to make love one night because she had just changed the sheets and she wanted them to stay clean. What do you think that response meant to her husband? Are trying to mean that keeping the sheets tidy is more important than giving your husband sex?
There is need for women to put an end to taking the lead because they think their husbands won’t take it. If a woman says ‘I will see what has to be done’ she is likely to get frustrated that her husband will not take charge to get it done. There is need to learn to wait for your husband’s leadership. In many situations men don’t lead because women are too quick to jump in and take care of it all. The chaps will then fold their arms and watch. Let men take leadership and maybe invite your suggestion when they get stuck.
Never say yes, I had an orgasm when you actually didn’t. Lying is never a great idea, especially when it comes to sexual intimacy. The definition of intimacy is letting another person see your vulnerabilities and that includes admitting that your sex life might need to be changed. When you pretend you are enjoying sex, you may think that you are sparing his feelings, but you are actually pushing him away by not being honest. And chances are, you aren’t fooling him. But find a more positive approach when discussing your hubby’s weakness.