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Stop begging for love and affection
The Author Steven Karanja
Mandy Hale said the two things you will never have to chase is true friendship and true love. They say if it’s all about chase, thats where all the effort goes. Well, if it’s a chase, it means there’s an effort from one side and not from the other. And sometimes the other person is playing hard to get, or maybe they’re just not genuinely interested.
It’s amazing how we’re not scared of attracting someone to someone we’re not attracted to. And here’s the interesting thing, we chase people because we feel they have something we don’t, or we think life will instantly be better if we have them in our lives.
The crazy thing is that, there’s no truth in that at all, it’s just an idea, it’s just our imagination that we amplify and expect to turn into a reality. And that’s why the chase is so misleading. We want someone who will be present, but we chase someone who is distracted.
The biggest mistake we make is that we concertrate on someone who is not interested in us and leave one who is interested in us. We ignore someone who is available and chase someone who is not available. Have you ever noticed that this usually attracts us more? It’s almost like the bad girl or bad guy is more desirable, have you ever wondered why?
Well, I was reading a study where Helen Fisher talks about how romantic rejection stimulates the part of the brain that’s associated with motivation, reward, addiction and cravings. So, the simple way of putting it, it’s like when you know some thing’s bad for you, but you still go after it….. Food, addiction any of those sort of things. Well we do it because we feel rejection means a lack of worth in us, and the only way to prove our worth is to receive love from that person, It’s messed up.
We have all been there. We obsess over the message, is now too soon? Is it too late? What do I write? What do I say? Then again we obsess over the reply, how long will they take? I sent it three hours ago, we keep checking every single minute hoping that, that person responds.
And remember when we chase something, we usually fall. When you’re running after something, when you’re chasing something that’s when you fall. Will Smith said “Don’t chase people, be yourself, do your own things, and work hard. The right people the one who really matter will effortlessly sail into your life and they will come to stay.
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