Life & Style
Handling an online relationship
How to handle Online relationships
Truth be told, > if you have been there before, you know how tedious it is.
I know the guilt you feel inside you now, because 80% of the time, you are cheating on an existing partner. If you’re single, there is a probability that you are the one being played.
Social media became the world centre stage for cheaters, liars and anyone but your future spouse. Don’t get me wrong. Your spouse could be that guy who just liked your profile picture, but in such cases we look at the worst case scenario.
People have survived unwanted pregnancies at the first attempt but that doesn’t mean you go around flying live in people’s bedrooms. Your luck is not my luck and just because Mark Zuckerberg dropped out of school and became a billionaire, doesn’t mean you are going to be one. Chief Dish washer at some local downtown restaurant might be your end game. So, the billion dollar question. How do you handle that kind of relationship?
First, we need to verify the account we claim we are dating with. Many a time, fake accounts roam the social media platform and pump your heart full of false feelings. A male friend of mine courted a fellow man under who had female names for over three months before that hairy monster broke to him the news of its masculine identity, breaking his heart in the process.
“I thought ‘she’ was going to be my future wife,” he cried. Well, with a pat on his back, I told him that unless he has reputable evidence that that girl in question is actually a girl, he should find a way to tame his feelings next time.
In take two, always make sure that person has a full profile picture. Put into consideration, the height, color and overall physical appearance. Truth be told, she might look like goddess Athena on social media, brown like you want, with a tempting cleavage and height, but you forget one thing.
With Photoshop, a woman as black as coal would turn into a Beyonce in just a touch and click. On meeting her, you will be confused as to whether you are actually meeting your dream woman or her evil twin. If you don’t get the Photoshop explanation, you would think she ran into an army of armed robbers. So, yes. Always pay attention to the real looks pictures. A succulent cleavage can at any second unroll into the longest pair of boobs you have ever seen.
You also need to have a hold on your feelings. Many people behind that phone are bored people who grabbed their phones to kill it. Others are just horny individuals looking for a bail out from unsuspecting innocent faces. So always take your time before actually investing your feelings in all people, a horny person. Are we clear here?
Take things a step at a time. Be patient. Some girls and women have very cheap trust. A few seconds into the conversation, their ‘dates’ already know how their uncle raped them at seven years of age and how they have deep scar on their left thigh courtesy of their rough-in-bed seventh ex-boyfriend.
Why do you have to tell your deepest of secrets to people who might actually never care? Spare them. This information should only come out if you are at gun point, not behind a phone or computer.
If you are really, and I mean really interested in anyone, please don’t ask for money. I do understand your landlord is actually trying to throw you out or you are stuck in the middle of Mabira without airtime but there is no way I can understand that of all the real people near you, you choose to ask for money from a stranger you haven’t met yet.
Your greed will throw away your suitors in just seconds. I do understand the insatiable appetite money comes with, but hold your urge. For once. Ask for money, when you feel you deserve it, not if you feel you need it.
Finally, yes. Your future wife maybe in that mix of over the billion plus people on social media, but even with that, make sure you take my words serious. It is essential and might bail you out when you least expect it. Now go reply someone’s text messages.
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