What men have to do when a woman cries

Inside the Beehive

EMOTIONAL: Minister Mutagamba with table mate shed tears at Judith Babiryes concers

At the recent wedding my sister was the maid of honor. It was her best friend’s wedding. I was incredibly shocked when she burst into tears the minute she started walking down the aisle. May be that’s understandable with ladies.

A lady can even cry at smaller, stupidier things. But it is also important to note that not all ladies are so emotional and sensational.

My sister has this thing in her. She cried on my graduation and could not even hesitate to shade tears on our parents’ 30th wedding anniversary. This may not be a problem to her alone, but to many women out there.

Several factors play a role in an individual’s propensity to cry. Gender differences in crying, for example, have been explored for decades and across the world, and all of the studies reached the same conclusion:

Women cry more than men. Biologically, there may be a reason why women cry more than men: Testosterone may inhibit crying, while the hormone prolactin, seen in higher levels in women, may promote it. But a desire to cry is not all nature.

Research has established that after the age of 19, women weep for two hours and 14 minutes a week. When you are a baby, you cry for food and attention or because you’re uncomfortable. As you grow, the tears come for other reasons – from skinning your knees to later being ignored by the boy you like.

When you get older, the stressful complexity of life is enough to start the waterfall. Whatever the case, women are more vulnerable to crying than men.

There are several studies over the years that have shown that men have larger tear ducts in their eyes, so that it is less likely for the tears to well up to the point of spilling over the eyelid onto the cheek,

A chap at the workplace once told me that when a crying woman stands in front of him, he gets sexually aroused. This cannot be generalized to all men because there are men who will claim that crying actually turns them down.

But some research studies have been conducted to explore this concept. According to some study, tears shed by women contain chemical signals that decrease sexual arousal and testosterone levels in men.

Not every man knows what to do when confronted by a crying woman. Men need to know that it is important to assess the situation.

There can be an infinite number of reasons why a woman might be crying. Perhaps she is grieving, stressed out, ill, or overwhelmed by joy. Before you proceed to console her try to get a handle on what the situation might be and whether it is appropriate for you to try to comfort her.

There following things can be of help when consoling the person: Be a good listener. Don’t minimize her pain or tell her not to cry, use nonverbal comforting techniques and make sure that you affirm her sadness.

You should assess whether physical contact is appropriate; some people are comforted by touch, and others are made more anxious by it. Sometimes you have to ask her what you can do to help and then step in to help if it is appropriate.

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