Arts
How insecurity slowly eats away at your relationship
INSIDE THE BEEHIVE
Good relationship
You may be secretly checking your partner’s phone. You have that strange curiosity to know the people your partner calls or chats with and what exactly they discuss.
Sometimes you get successful but some other times you don’t.There is this suspicion within you that your partner may be unfaithful and you feel that it’s your obligation to unearth the truth.
I take this opportunity to inform you that you are just insecure.We are only human, which means that we all, even the most confident folks among us, have our own individual insecurities of varying magnitudes.
These insecurities can be difficult to pinpoint and acknowledge, let alone work through, but if you want to lead a healthy, happy life, figuring out how to manage your insecurities is crucial.
If left unchecked, those insecurities can have a serious impact on so many parts of your life, including your love life.
That is why knowing how your insecurities affect a relationship is so important.One of the challenges of being insecure is that your partner constantly has to reassure you. There is nothing wrong with craving some reassurance from your every now and then, but if you constantly them to validate you, that’s a sign that your insecurities are getting the better of you, and if they grow tired of reassuring you, that can cause you to become even more insecure.
When we become anxious about anything, we start looking for signs of things ‘going wrong’ That nervous flyers look out for signs that the aircraft is in trouble. And, of course, we usually find what we are looking for, even if it isn’t really there at all.
We even perform constant monitoring: “Do they look fed up? Why did they say that? Who is this other person they have mentioned? Should I feel threatened? Are they less attentive?
Why did they pause after I suggested we meet up?” All this is exhausting.Overcoming relationship insecurity is partly about becoming less controlling. This may sound strange, but feeling that:
“This relationship must be exactly as I think it should be!” is a form of over-control.A sign of insecurity in relationships is when the desire for certainty becomes too strong. But you need to give the relationship a break or breathing space and stop that mind reading if you are to save your relationship. Why compare first relationship with the current ones? Better focus on what is good and everything will be okay.
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