Dealing with a cheating partner

contoversal relationship

Many of us have at one time or another found ourselves in situations where we have to deal with a cheating partner. Many couples have overcome these hurdles and even made jokes about them with time.

However for other couples, such incidents spell doom – at times ending relationships or even worse, resulting into death.

So, what do you do if you ever found yourself in this most unpleasant situation? As it is always said,  it’s extremely dangerous to leave a person who is in this situation alone and without sound advice!

When caught pants down or you catch your partner in the same situation, pride must be held under check. It has the potential to make you do something that you may regret for ever.

Matters are not helped by the fact that individuals in such situations usually do many things in reverse order – doing  last what one should have done first. Taking care to have the order of reactions right is therefore paramount.  Try this if you don’t mind:

Ascertain beyond reasonable doubt

One school of thought maintains that it’s immoral to be nosy about your partner’s activities. Contrary to that, I believe that if you know you have a good partner, you should beware that there are many people out there who would wish to have at least a piece of them. So constantly put your surveillance in top gear, and if you realize that your dreaded nightmare is true (that your partner is cheating) never throw accusations before you are 110% sure.

Avoid irrational action

After confirming its better that you take some time before you take any action, it could be better if you can go for meditation, if you are a religious person find solace in God, if you are not then go for yoga or try the gym.

Confront

The aim of relaxation is to reduce the feeling of betrayal and cutting down the anger, infact its advisable to arrange for your confrontation, say prepare a dinner or go outing, you will be already a loser if you confront your partner with anger, this is because naturally people are defensive by nature and are good counter accusers, so if you confront them in anger instead of feeling ashamed they will become aggressive, keep your cool throughout!

Boycott     

In Kenya the women there proved to us that boycotting the bed can be used as a bargaining tool! because cheating revolves around the bed and sex, so boycotting can be a good bargaining chip, this will also help you gauge what extent your relationship has been damaged, if he/she is broken and hurt by the sex boycott, then you can know that there is something that can still be salvaged, on the other hand if she/he is not bothered by your boycott, then maybe you can start arranging for an exit plan.

Mediate

If the boycott works, then its time for the round table, and never agree to a truce without a third party being a witness, this way you can have someone who can listen to both parties and find out an unbiased solution. Its always best to go for a religious person or an elderly person who must have seen and heard it all.

Look within your self

If all is settled then it’s time to take an in-depth look at yourself, this is because more often than not we contribute to our partners cheating, sometimes knowingly and sometimes unknowingly. But all in all if you find that you contributed even 0.05% change and show the change, if for example your not being there contributed to the cheating, make a resolution of being there as much as possible.

Forgive and forget

These two words are supposed to go hand in hand, in that without one the other can’t stand, maybe the forgetting should have come first” forget and forgive” because if you can manage to forget then you can’t hold a grudge, it makes sense in that, how can you be mad if you can’t remember?

Leaving     

We all have left a relationship, or we have been booted at some point in our relationship journey, this makes it a fact of life. Sometimes, there are some irreconcilable differences, maybe your partner has turned into a serial cheater, or violence has cropped up in the relationship! After everything has failed to yield any positive results then maybe its time to leave, and even in leaving there are types, it could be temporarily leaving or permanently. When to know if you should leave permanently or temporarily is a story for another day!

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