Pastor’s “Hallelujah, I Do?” Tour Hits a Sour Note!

Hold onto your hymnals, folks, because the drama in the House of the Lord (and apparently on Twitter) is hotter than holy water! Our beloved former Galaxy FM journalist turned city pastor, Apostle Jona “Bless Your Timeline” Nalebo, has announced his amicable (ahem) split from the glamorous Enid Mirembe, the brains behind those dazzling Miss Uganda pageants. Seven years, poof! Gone like a poorly timed altar call.

Now, while Apostle Jona is taking “full responsibility” for this marital miracle – bless his repentant heart – the timing of his online affections has tongues wagging faster than a gossip circle at a women’s fellowship. Just days after declaring his single status, our good shepherd was caught red-handed (or should we say, blue-ticked?) publicly serenading a newly born-again DJ, the electrifying Alisha Uwase!

Galaxy FM, bless their gossipy souls (once Jona’s stomping ground!), posted some rather illuminating photos of DJ Alisha’s transformation from the world of “bars, alcohol, and sex” to the serene pastures of born-again bliss. And what does our Apostle Jona do? Slides right into those DMs… publicly! With a proposal! Yes, you read that right. “Hi Alisha, can we get married?” he tweeted, sounding less like a man seeking divine guidance and more like someone who’s just discovered the “newly single” filter on his spiritual dating app.

Undeterred by the raised eyebrows and dropped jaws, Apostle Jona doubled down when DJ Alisha posted a serene “God makes everything beautiful… in His time” caption. Our man of the cloth, clearly feeling divinely inspired (or perhaps just feeling his oats), quoted Ecclesiastes, basically saying, “See? It’s all part of God’s beautiful plan… including this very public flirtation!”

The reactions have been… spicy. Some are applauding Apostle Jona’s “openness” and “faith,” conveniently overlooking the seven-year marriage that just went kaput. Others are side-eyeing the speed of this spiritual matchmaking, wondering if the only thing being “made beautiful in its time” is Apostle Jona’s transition to a new relationship.

Meanwhile, Enid, the now ex-Mrs. Apostle, remains gracefully silent, probably busy dusting off her tiara and wondering if “Miss Newly Single Uganda” is a pageant category she should consider.

Apostle Jona, ever the spiritual smooth operator, claims he’s “returning to Jesus for healing.” We just hope Jesus has a good block button on his Twitter account, because things are about to get even more… entertaining. As for DJ Alisha? Well, let’s just say her DMs are probably holier than ever before. Stay tuned for the next sermon in this saga – it’s bound to be a real revelation!