Is Mesach Semakula Officially Launching a “Wife Recruitment Drive”?

Oh dear, has someone been sipping a little too much marital bliss Kool-Aid? Our beloved crooner, Mesach Semakula, has apparently taken a break from serenading us to deliver some unsolicited life advice to the fellas. And what profound wisdom did he bestow upon the TikTok masses? Why, that marriage, gasp, might actually be… good for you!

Yes, you heard it right. The man who once had us all swaying to his romantic tunes is now suggesting we willingly shackle ourselves to a “good woman” for the sake of… maturity? Responsibility? Not overspending on late-night rolex? Honestly, it sounds less like an endorsement and more like a subtle admission that single life is just a tad too much fun for one’s own good.

“Whenever you are out somewhere, you can look at the watch and realise you have to be home with your wife,” Mesach mused, seemingly forgetting that watches also tell time for single men who might, you know, have other equally pressing engagements. Like, perhaps, another episode of their favourite series or finally mastering that complicated muzungu dish they saw on YouTube.

And the audacity to suggest that without a woman “claiming” you, you’ll just “end up wasting your years”! As if a fulfilling life is solely measured by the presence of a significant other (and potential future offspring). What about those who find purpose in their careers, their friendships, their stamp collections? Are they all just meandering through existence, desperately waiting for a “claim”?

The most eyebrow-raising part? “Pick one and allow her to have control over your life and decisions.” Control? Really, Mesach? Is this the 21st century, or are we back to bartering livestock for a bride? While a healthy relationship involves compromise and mutual respect, willingly handing over the reins of your life sounds less like maturity and more like… well, let’s just say it rhymes with “subserviency.”

Look, we get it. Marriage works for some. Maybe Mrs. Semakula has a magical power that prevents excessive spending and instils an uncanny sense of punctuality. But to paint all single men as aimless wanderers desperately needing a wife to steer them in the right direction? That’s a low blow, even for a Tuesday afternoon TikTok rant.

So, while we appreciate the sentiment (maybe?), perhaps next time, Mr. Semakula, stick to the love songs. We can figure out our own bedtimes and budget allocations, thank you very much. And if we happen to overspend on that extra plate of chips? Well, at least we have no one to answer to but our own slightly heavier conscience.