Still Single? Miss Deedan Blames the Census (and Maybe a Few Unavailable Gents)!

Poor Miss Deedan, bless her single heart! It seems the perennial question of “When are you finally going to settle down?” has become her personal version of the national anthem. The gorgeous Diana Deedan Muyira, speaking with admirable candour (or perhaps just sheer exhaustion) on the “Nothing Serious” podcast, revealed the soul-crushing monotony of fielding this inquiry, particularly from the well-meaning but oh-so-persistent family squad.

Family gatherings have become less about celebrating and more about rehearsing witty deflections. Deedan confessed to having a mental Rolodex of go-to responses like the ever-reliable “In God’s time” and the equally vague “God has all the answers.” We’ve all been there, haven’t we? Trying to navigate those awkward family interrogations with the grace of a swan on a particularly slippery pond.

But just when you thought Deedan had exhausted her arsenal of polite evasions, she pulled a statistical rabbit out of her hat! Post-Uganda’s recent national census, our resourceful queen has cooked up a brand new, slightly more… blame-y retort. According to Deedan, the real issue isn’t her dazzling singleness, oh no! It’s a matter of national demographics!

“I now say the problem is 51%,” she declared, cheekily referencing the higher percentage of women in Uganda. And just to twist the knife (ever so gently, of course), she added that a whopping “38% of the 49% (men) are already married!” So there you have it, folks! It’s not that potential suitors aren’t lining up around the block for the fabulous Miss Deedan; it’s simply a matter of supply and demand! The numbers just aren’t in her favour!

We can just picture the next family gathering. Auntie Agnes leans in, ready with the dreaded question, only to be met with a PowerPoint presentation on national gender ratios and marital statistics. You’ve got to admire her creativity!

So, to all the busybodies out there wondering when Miss Deedan will finally walk down the aisle, perhaps it’s time to direct your inquiries to the national statistics bureau. After all, it’s not her fault the eligible bachelor pool is apparently shrinking faster than our savings accounts! We’re sending Deedan virtual high-fives for her hilarious and oh-so-relatable approach to dodging this age-old question. May her witty retorts continue to evolve with every passing census!